As you may know if you have been following my posts, 1. I am in the process of trying to eliminate a large amount of credit card debt 2. I love to shop 3. The day AFTER Christmas has always been a huge day for me. Every year on December 26, I wake up at 5:00 a.m., throw on some clothes, throw on a dab of face paint, throw my hair into some kind of concoction and head out for a day of discounted shopping. I have done this every year now for about 10 years.
I am, now, on a path to correcting my credit habits, so although I planned on going out this morning, I was headed out with a budget. I know, that word is no fun. However, when I woke this morning, I had no desire to even go shopping. I think many things were at play in my mind. I am in a great deal of debt, and shopping days like this have contributed to that. Additionally, my husband and I have been working really hard to clear out our house; the older we become, the less clutter and “stuff” we want. Lastly, I have really been praying hard for divine intervention with my cause. So, I think all of these factors came together and helped me come to my decision this morning.
Had I gone out, I probably would not have stuck to a budget; I am just not used to operating that way. I would have left the house with my plastic, and if I had seen enough that I wanted, I probably would have turned to the card or cards. Sometimes I feel like Isla Fisher in the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic! I know that I have a problem, and I know that it needs to be fixed. However, if I see something I want, I usually proceed, and NOT with caution. So, I think, subconsciously, and perhaps spiritually, my mind and my savior caused me to make the decision I made.
Sure I missed the sales all day long. I thought about the deals I was not scoring. But, I also then came up with logical reasons as to why it was best for me to stay home. Bringing all of those items into the home would simply cause me to have to find space for them, and thus, my work spent clearing the house would be for naught. When I go through my bathroom closet and under sink storage, I find a ton of products that were purchased on similar shopping trips. And guess what? They were NEVER used. Some of the lotions are now discolored due to sitting in storage for so long. So, I realized that the more I purchase, the less likely I am to actually use the items.
Trust me; this has not been an easy journey for me. I so wanted to go out this morning and bask in the glory of scoring great prices on amazing products. But, reality and my goals set in. I think I am finally starting to change my mind set, but it is so hard; especially when you are so accustomed to a certain way of living and spending. I must say, though, I have donated and gotten rid of SO much from my house. I was actually proud to have people in my home for Christmas. Usually, in the past, I avoided company due to the embarrassment of all my belongings. But this season, I welcomed the guests.
When I walk into the rooms of my home, I feel relieved rather than overwhelmed. Plus, donating to organizations made me good about myself as well. So, although my journey has been very tough for me, I am slowly starting to retool my thinking. I’m not much of an organizer, never had to be. My mom was one of those who pulled my bedroom door shut so she would not have to see or deal with my mess. So, I was never taught how to organize and balance. Many new lessons are being brought into my life. I realize, though, that they are what is best for me and my family.
Up to this point in my family life, I have not been a very good role model financially for my children, and I would like that to change. There were times when I would tell my youngest that we could not afford to buy something, and she would say, “Just use your card.” That is not how I want my girls to grow up, and I have had many discussions with them regarding my financial mistakes and mismanagements. So, I am making great strides and efforts to change for all of us. I still cannot believe I stayed home today! I think seeing those credit card bills and the shock of what I have created has FINALLY sunk in, deeply. Now, it is time to dig out and become unburied. I truly believe that a good deal of my anxiety and stress is caused by my financial strain. So, here’s hoping for a better financial year in 2013. Thanks for reading about my journey and other topics that interest me!