WOW! I want to say THANK YOU to my new followers and to those of who have stayed with me, even though I myself have not remained consistent. I LOVE to write, but I must admit, my life has consumed me, and I have not touched this blog in such a long time. However, while checking my emails, I noticed that I had at least THREE new followers, and YOU motivated me to revisit this blog. That is why I am thanking you. I am grateful to you for awakening a passion in me, one that has gone dormant. As a mother, a wife, and full-time educator, I really do not have any time for myself. I suffer from anxiety, depression, and extreme perfectionism. So, I guess I feel obligated to put everyone else’s needs first. And let me tell you—it is exhausting!
I love my two children with all of my heart, but they are involved in everything, and when I say everything, I literally mean it. I used to laugh when I would see those “Mom’s Taxi” bumper stickers or magnets, but now I know they are not a joke! I am literally the driver to my two children whose activities dictate my life. Don’t get me wrong; I would rather they be active and involved than not, but some days I just want to breathe or go to the bathroom. Yes, it sounds silly, but as an educator, I am not permitted to ;eave my students alone in the classroom, not even to go to the bathroom. Back to my own children, though, they are ideal. Neither child earns anything less than A’s on the report card–one in HS and one in MS– and both take full advantage of all opportunities offered to them. People always tell me to take at least an hour for myself. My friends will say: Go get a massage; do something for you; go shopping, etc. Well, guess what? All of those activities require money, and mine is tied up in my children’s extracurriculars. I sometimes feel as though I ma drowning, and I sink farther and farther as the days pass. It is one thing to have two children of your own, but when you add 100 students who are not your own children, the days can be quite overwhelming. I teach MS, and some of those students are starving for attention. I have students who call me “Mom.” I love kids, but as I said, some days I just want to be me.
For this reason, I am again thanking those of you who followed this blog, despite my neglect of it. And, because of you, I am going to make a goal for myself: I am going to post to this blog at least once a day. I don’t care if I have to wake up at 4:30 a.m. or stay up until 2:00 a.m. This blog is going to serve as “me time.” I would really love to hear from those of you who might feel the same. In addition, I am going to read the blogs of others and begin to follow other blogs as well. This might just be the outlet I need to release some of my inner stress. The need to find and feel inner peace has been bogging me down for sometime now. My husband thinks I need therapy, but I have tried therapy to no avail. Perhaps using this blog as my personal journal and space to unwind will help me. So, please, join me in my venture to find the inner peace and harmony I so desperately seek!
Thank you again to those of you who have helped me see and understand what I have been missing. You have brought me back to this important place. God bless, and may I stick to my goal!